there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
