i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
