She's JV to your varsity
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
