All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
