Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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