Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
