Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
