I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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