I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize