ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
