I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize