is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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