I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
