it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
