Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
