We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
