He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
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