I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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