You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
