so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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