This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
