How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
