she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
