the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
