ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didn't notice because vodka
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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