I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His nipple licking is glorious
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