How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
