end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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