yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
