the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
whose ass print is on the piano?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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