I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
