Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
