There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
