i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Less talking, more tequila
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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