so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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