Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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