Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
