Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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