And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think people are normalizing furries
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
