I think I died a long time ago.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
