I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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