So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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