Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize