i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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