Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
