i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
