hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my poor anus
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
