Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
