I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
