I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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