Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
