he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When are your genitals available?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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