Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do herpes really smell.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
