he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
