How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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