I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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