evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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