I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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