Christians are straight up FREAKS
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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